Friday, July 31, 2009


Widowed and penniless RANDOLPH ADAMS is over it, but he's not quite able to pull the trigger when it comes to suicide. When Randolph decides to go for the next best thing- seeking out a fatal accident- he has enough consecutive and darkly humorous near misses that he enlists the help of goth ghostwriter MARIA X to blog about it anonymously before he tries again... and unwittingly becomes the pied piper of X-Games style assisted suicide.

"How to go out in a blaze of glory in three easy steps."

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Delicate and petite San Francisco graphic designer ANDI MOODY has an impetuous, out-of-character, and extremely hot weekend tryst with a Russian sailor she knows only as TUPO. When he breaks what was going to be their final date before he left port, Andi's FRIENDS tell her to let it go and enjoy it for what it was, but instead she spends everything she has to hire a YACHT piloted by slightly seedy RICH BARMING. The closer Andi comes to following Tupo's path based on the clues she remembers from their passionate conversations, the more she questions whether or not she's acting the fool by chasing a crush and whether or not she's developing feelings for Rich.

"Forget your heart, love is all in your head."

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


KRISTIN FITZPATRICK is just another Iowa teenager obsessed with celebrities and Hollywood, gulping as much PEREZ HILTON, TMZ and Star Magazine as she possibly can. On her way to school she's struck on the head by a bust of ZSA ZSA GABOR that's fallen out of a ten-story window, and when she regains consciousness the roles of everyone in her life are suddenly played by celebrities. MOM and DAD have become TIM ROBBINS and SUSAN SARANDON, boyfriend FREDDIE has become ZACH EFRON, and when she looks in the mirror she sees DEMI LOVATO. Kristin is in heaven... until she realizes that nothing substantial in her life has really changed, only the faces. When she begins to tire of seeing nothing but celebrities everywhere she looks (hey look, the SOUP NAZI is her PRINCIPAL!), Kristin does everything she can to return her life back to the way it was.

"Celebrity is, like, only skin deep."

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Oh these techno-complicated and super-sex-saturated days we live in!

All the KIDS at Gibson High School are sexting like there was no tomorrow... and so are about half the TEACHERS and PARENTS. Virginal ROCHELLE PEARL is an honor student leading a double life as anonymous queen of the teasing cellphone snap, and swirling around her is a maelstrom of adolescent hormones, get rich quick schemes, hallway betrayals and impossible love affairs.... all expressed through the majesty of song and dance! Exclamation point!

"Sexy Sturm und Drang on Six Inch Screens!"

Monday, July 27, 2009


Since the death of his WIFE and TWO CHILDREN, Park Ranger and fire expert JIM GRAYSON has volunteered for long, solitary stretches manning the fire observation towers of Yosemite. When small fires continue to pop up and get mysteriously snuffed out in his quadrant, Jim searches for what he believes in a mischievous ARSONIST loose in the park. When telltale bits of ephemera from his son and daughter's life begin appearing in the woods, Jim is chilled to think that their accidental death may have been murder, and that the MURDERER is coming for him next.

"Where there's smoke, there's fire."

Sunday, July 26, 2009


Otaku (おたく/オタク) is a Japanese term used to refer to people with obsessive interests, particularly anime, manga and video games.*

Joyless ROY LAYNE has been living a painfully unremarkable life, mechanically plodding through each day with zero meaningful connections to other people and contempt for himself. A chance encounter with KAZUHIRO, an otaku following the American publicity tour of manga writer VERA TSUJI turns Roy onto Vera's "Planet Wong" series, sparking intense and unprecedented feelings of passion in him about the animated heroine MISS WONG. When Roy's obsession evolves to the point of threatening his livelihood and, considering Miss Wong appears before him to chat, perhaps his sanity, he's faced with the prospect of rejecting the only thing he's ever loved.

"Don't tell me what's real."

*Wikipedia definition.

Special thanks to Lisa Katayama's excellent NYTimes article "Love in 2-D" for inspiring today's pitch.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


It's time to have some fun with Pixar movies... and pitch an R-Rated one.

Aggressive BETTY the blue jay and mellow OLIVIA the owl grew up in the same forest in Humboldt County, CA, and despite the fact that some owls like to eat blue jays they became unlikely friends. Olivia is content to chew on the local marijuana crop, creep out the humans for kicks and pursue amorous interspecies liaisons, but Betty is obsessed with traveling to Toronto where she's heard that the blue jay is venerated above all species. Betty plants the get rich-quick-seed in Olivia's mind and makes plans for them to fly a shipment of weed to Canada as part of a pilgrimage she hopes will finally bring the fulfillment and love she's never found in California.

"Flight makes right."

Friday, July 24, 2009


pseudologia fantastica n. A syndrome characterized by habitual telling of implausible lies and fantastic exaggerations, usually half believed by the teller but often transparently improbably to the recipients.*

DICK FLOYD is a born storyteller... or a born liar depending on your point of view. The same quality that makes him irresistible at first- his ability to spin the most fantastic stories off the top of his head- also makes him impossible to be close to, because you can't believe a word he says even when it counts. When Dick falls in love with New York Times fact-checker BEATRICE PENNY, a lovely woman driven mad by his outlandish claims, he's faced with the biggest decision of his life- does he risk trying to cure the condition that's brought him fantastic success in life but dismal failure in love?

"Dick Floyd only lies when he opens his mouth."

*Oxford Dictionary of Psychology

Thursday, July 23, 2009


SoCal stoners PRESS and JIM JIM are best buds, ahem, and both on their way to flunking out of high school. Hoping to straighten them out before senior year, their PARENTS send them to Cody, Wyoming to live and work on the Greenhorn Ranch where BIG BILL WHITNEY and his TEAM whip NOGOODNIKS like Press and Jim Jim into shape. Wackiness, sex romping, stampeding and experiments in cross-pollinating ensue.

"Forget 4:20. Think High Noon."

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Workplace comedy... workplace tragedy... it's hard to distinguish between the two when you're on a long conference call. DANIEL BORREGO is fresh out of college and eager to please his new WORKMATES at The John Prester Company. The learning curve is steep, and Daniel is loath to admit that he doesn't really know many details about what upcoming big "launch" is that everyone is so worked up about, or who they mean when they say "our competitor." Daniel decides to stealthily dial in to an upper level conference call to try and catch himself up and suddenly believes he's finally figured out who the big mystery client is... GOD.

"Press star if you are the leader."

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Artwork submitted by Somsara.

A triptych of interwoven tales that focus on pivotal moments and repercussions of choices we make not with our heads but with our guts, where a bundle of 100 billion nerve cells form what can be called our "second brain." Junior copywriter ALEX MORNEAU follows his instinct and pushes hard for his idea in front of THE CLIENT despite all warning signs telling him to back down in the face of his powerful boss CLAUDIA MABRIE; teenager KATE MABRIE gets into a car with her secret older boyfriend FRANK JICKS despite her gut telling her to take a cab; GWEN MORNEAU is compelled to reveal a painful FAMILY secret she intellectually knows will have immediate negative impact on her husband Alex.

"Can you really trust your gut?"

Monday, July 20, 2009


Soft-spoken Louisianan JOHN KELLEY's dream was to run track in college and started playing baseball late in life, almost by mistake. With no other work available after graduation, he accepted an offer to play single-A ball and discovered a way to combine his natural speed with surprising power. John and his wife ALLISON fantasize about what life would be like with money and fame at the same time John hides his crippling anxiety attacks and newfound obsession with perfecting every inch of his body. With MEDIA attention intensifying and SCOUTS from "the show" analyzing his every move, will John overcome his fears or will he implode?

"He had all the tools... except one."

Sunday, July 19, 2009


It's time to have some fun with Merchant/Ivory films... and zombies.

1924. French millionaire playboy RENÉ RINCON is enthralled by the occult and often hires CONJURERS and WARLOCKS to shock the snooty UPPER-CRUST GUESTS at his summer home on Lake Como. At the most fabulous party of the season, René hires Englishman ALEISTER CROWLEY to conjure "a man who knows the truth about darkness" and with a flash H.P. LOVECRAFT and his wife SONIA GREENE appear, magically snatched from their honeymoon in America. When Sonia falls in love with René, jealous Lovecraft impulsively kills him... but Crowley's black magic animates René's dead body, allowing the forbidden love affair to flower as bodies continue to fall.. and rise again.

"Love is the blackest magic of all."

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Based on some scribbles he finds in the margin of a book in the library, amateur conspiracy theory blogger and college student AMIN BIKH makes a post about a series of local unsolved murders from the late 1990s and sees a sudden spike in attention in the comments section of his blog before he shuts down for the night. Amin wakes up in POLICE custody along with three members of the university community- a PROFESSOR, the WIFE of a local politician and a GRAD STUDENT. Amin quickly pieces together that the other three captives made seven of the eight comments on his blog last night, but is slower to realize that all of them are in the holding cell of a police station that was actually closed down ten years ago...

"A murderer is now following your updates."

Friday, July 17, 2009


EVAN DOLD III has fallen on hard times and is selling everything he owns, including the family heirlooms. When a cracked picture frame reveals an I.O.U. for $1 million made out to his grandfather and namesake from real estate baron WILLIAM BILLINGHAM. When Evan approaches the Billingham FAMILY to collect, he's drawn into a centuries-old scheme that could turn his fortunes around quickly... if he's willing to write a terrifying I.O.U. of his own.

"Are you willing to collect?"

Thursday, July 16, 2009


JADEN JAMES is the most flamboyant and campy clubowner in L.A., friend to the debauched deejay and the disco dancer. Everyone, including Jaden, assumed that he was gay, but when mysterious dancer EVE causes a commotion at his club The Wiggle Room, Jaden must re-examine not only his sexual identity but also his willingness to mix danger and pleasure.

"Always allow for a little wiggle room."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


BILL and HENRIETTA have very few "couple friends" that don't have kids, so when former workmate GWEN sets up a "can't miss" wine tasting weekend with her new banker boyfriend DEVIN they can't wait for it. Devin exeeds their expectations fun-wise, but when he sneaks them into the cellar of the famed Stottlemeyer Winery they realize that they're pawns in Devin's scheme to steal the famed Stottlemeyer family jewels, which are rumored to be hidden at the bottom of one of a dozen enormous casks of wine.

"A toast, to some heavy bread."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Microbiologist ABRAHAM JENKINS has accidentally opened an evolutionary Pandora's Box. With a few eletrochemical adjustments, subjects (human or otherwise) can be catapulted ahead genetically, so a week's time affects you like ten millenia. When he and several other TEST SUBJECTS begin exhibiting radical psychic and physical advances, Abraham is faced with the choice between shutting them all down... with a vengeance, or unleashing some seriously dangerous individuals on humanity.

"They deserve us."

Monday, July 13, 2009


Sister and brother LINDA and FINCH CINK are the newest and youngest members of the Mendocino Scuba Club. Every Wednesday before school they make a dive along the coast, and today they found a solid steel anchor that looks like it could be 100 years old. When they bring some CLUB MEMBERS back down to show them it's disappeared, and when they show up to school their lockers have been broken into. Linda and Finch search for a connection between the anchor and the disappearance of THE MAYOR 20 years ago, a connection that could complicate their budding relationships to two of the Mayor's teenaged GRANDCHILDREN.

"The truth sinks."

Sunday, July 12, 2009


Freshman TIM WILLOUGHBY and NORTY BLONSKY both came to Taylor State (enrollment 28,000) from small towns, but neither of the self-professed outsiders was interested in the Greek system. After meeting in a Psych 101 class and instantly liking one another they jokingly decided to form their own fraternal organization- The Mutual Admiration Society. The rules are simple: if a new person liked you as much as you like them, they're in. Soon their joke is a surprising hit on campus, but as their ranks swell- and complicated hot girls like ALYSSIA NG become members- Tim and Norty's friendships, grades and moral codes are put to the test by internal squabbles and external competition with traditional Greek fraternities and sororities.

"How many friends is too many?"

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Chronically dissatisfied DUNCAN CARELLE was eight when his father VINCE was gunned down in Boston. Duncan grew up self-anesthetizing in California believing that his dad was a banker in the wrong place at the wrong time, but when his mother KATHLEEN is stricken with cancer she tells Duncan the truth: Vince had been a gangster, a hired gun the IRISH MOB used for tough jobs that had to be carried out at close range. Suddenly euphoric, Duncan quits his job... as a banker... and buys himself a gun. He heads back to Boston, not as much to avenge his father's murder as to give hired gun work a try... to see if his unhappiness stems from following in the wrong footsteps.

"Can you correct your destiny?"

Friday, July 10, 2009


It's time to have some fun with... the mockumentary. Aspiring filmmaker EZRA FINKE has been monumentally uncool his entire life, and over the years has become so obsessed with the notion of cool that he sets out to make a documentary about finding THE COOLEST PERSON ON EARTH and uncovering his secrets for uncool people everywhere. Naturally, EVERYONE he interviews thinks this is the uncoolest idea they've ever heard and Ezra is sent on an increasingly absurd wild goose chase halfway around the world seeking the mythical MASTER who, they say, lives on top of a Himalayan mountain in a house so cool it's, like, beyond description.

"Mock mockumentaries are cool."

Thursday, July 9, 2009


CALLIOPE JONES is a beautiful woman with a dangerously beautiful voice. As a child and even into her teenage years, whenever she sang she turned otherwise rational MEN into reckless fools prone to taking fatal risks to prove themselves. Since realizing that her gift was the cause of so much madness, she's kept as quiet as humanly possible... until she meets MICHAEL BENOIT. At first it feels to her that they are falling in love, that he longs to hear her sing for himself, but soon she suspects that he knew of her "ability" before he ever laid eyes on her and longs to use it for his own dark purpose.

"Her gift was also her curse."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


It's time to have some fun with... the coming-of-age story. It was a summer 13-year-old BILLY WIMBERLEY would never forget. His gentle Idaho eco-artist parents PRESTON and PATSY rent a summer house in... Red Hook, Brooklyn. Sensitive and shy Billy strikes up a friendship with the mysterious girl who lives across the street, aspiring graffiti tagger JUANITA VAN DER LEE. As Billy's home is torn apart by constant bickering about which parent is greener than the other, he dives deeper into Juanita's exciting, artistic, and dangerous world, trying to show her his way of life and experimenting with newfound impulses that could either illuminate his destiny or turn him into his parents worst fear... a regular kid.

"Whoever blinks first loses."

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


Last night BENJAMIN HOLLAND had one of those "love at first sight" moments at the bar and it must have been mutual- he woke up to a text from beautiful HANNAH LEE inviting him to breakfast. Ben has an enormously important meeting first thing at work, which is already across town, but he can't resist trying to meet Hannah first... which leads him into the most difficult, unlucky and surprising morning commutes ever seen. Ben dodges the sabotage of Hannah's STALKER EX-BOYFRIEND, crams for his presentation, weaves through HEIGHTENED SECURITY from a PRESIDENTIAL motorcade, and attempts to keep his increasingly beat up car going for just a few more miles...

"This could only happen to me!"

Monday, July 6, 2009


EVERYBODY used to say that JENNY's boyfriend STAN was crazy. Everybody was right. In high school it was chalked up to a combination of daredevil and class clown, but when Stan started disappearing for long stretches in college and returning home disoriented and amnesic, Jenny took him in for observation where he was found by DR. GARBRICK to be suffering from the rare disorder known as "dissociative fugue." As Dr. Garbrick tries to cure him, Stan pleads with Jenny to join him in "the other place," where he is a different man named FELIX and she is his wife ALIX and life is so much better. Jenny dismisses his talk as the ramblings of a sick man... until he begins telling her things about Alix that awaken something inside her... something wonderful and terrifying... that she's always known to be true.

"I'm leaving you... for you."

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Suburban Ohio newlyweds BRITTANY and JOHN are both 21, semi-employed and nervous as hell about life after their shotgun wedding. The last thing they expected was a visit from their distant Scottish relatives AOIFE and FLANN, who roll into town in a pimped out minivan with their six kids under the age of ten: ANSLEIGH, twins KAMRAN and KELCEY, CONNOR, LUNDY and adopted Indian son HIRESH. When Brittany and John wake up to find a wad of cash and a note from Flann saying "Gone to Las Vegas to sort things out, watch the sprogs (kids) for us 'til we get back," they must deal with massive culture shock and the sudden demented reality of parenting six wild kids.

"Hell is other people's kids."

Saturday, July 4, 2009


NICK "ICE" WEISBERG is the cockiest FBI agent trainee at Quantico... and that's saying something. His uncanny ability to get information out of people... not to mention the always-growing network of personal INFORMANTS who always seem to owe Nick a favor... leads him to bet his beautiful rival ROBIN TISINGER that he can uncover the secret of Area 51 before they graduate. Nick finagles a trip to Nevada, ostensibly to do some "field research" on a cold case involving the disappearance of retired USAF pilot COL. ZISKIN in 1983, the year Nick was born. The more Nick uses the Ziskin case as a cover to try and sneak his way into Area 51, the more he begins to see that Ziskin may be the key to solving the only mystery he's never cracked- the mystery of his true parentage.

"Sorry son, that part of your life is classified."

Friday, July 3, 2009


Measuring her ethnic ancestry in 1/64ths, ROSA ROUGE is a 21st century psychic. Believing in her gifts but eager to shed the clichés of crystal ball and tarot cards, Rosa centers her readings around her full length "magic mirror"; she and her CLIENT will both stand in front of the mirror and Rosa will report back to them one object she sees that should be sought, and one object that should be avoided. Soon after Rosa gives a reading to reporter HUMPHREY SIMON and is startled when both his "seek" and "avoid" objects were pieces of her own jewelry, her regular CLIENTS are killed one by one by the very objects she told them to avoid.

"Love and Death are closer than they appear."

Thursday, July 2, 2009


In the distant Nyx galaxy, the thousand year war that raged in the central solar system is finally over and the victorious MUTH TRIBE has set to work cleaning up debris, mines and other remnants of the conflict floating through space. Grizzled veteran pilot FAZ and his team of disappointed CADETS who just missed "the real action" are dispatched to the outermost reaches of the system in a Minesweeper to detonate a minefield laid down by the now-vanquished RONTES TRIBE to disrupt inter-system trade. The routine mission takes an unexpected turn when Faz picks up communications inside the minefield from PILOTS in his squadron that he knows were killed in action and discovers that the minefield is not a barrier to entry, but a sphere protecting a MALEVOLENT PORTAL in the center, a sphere that could reignite war if he's unable to defuse it.

"As usual, we have no room for error."

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Artwork contributed by Somsara at Art Design 3(6)5

You and I would look at JAY CANNON and say that has it all- beautiful wife OKELANI, money, beachfront home in Waikiki- but Jay looks in the mirror and feels nothing at all. For years, Jay's three sessions a week with Jungian psychotherapist SANDRA GUINARD have achieved only the smallest incremental progress, but one day when Sandra asks him about his belief in God Jay leaps up off the couch and joyously proclaims "It's been staring me in the face all this time- I am the second coming of Jesus Christ!" Suddenly Jay is filled with life and positively ebullient- surfing is "walking on water" and he's moved to do selfless good deeds for others, but Okelani, Sandra and his FRIENDS AND FAMILY become even more concerned about his state of mind when he begins obsessing about his destiny... to bring about the End of Days.

"Second coming to a theatre near you."