MORE WISHES

Mischievous high school senior AL MCKEE has a highly developed ability to talk himself out of... or into any situation, and puts it to the test as part of an elaborate prank by convincing the NIGHT WATCHMAN at the museum that he and his lackey friend GOOBS are there to replace him. In the back room Al uncovers an ancient Arabic lamp that, when rubbed, emits a cocky GENIE who offers Al three wishes. Al cleverly becomes the first human ever to trick the Genie into giving him "more wishes" with his third wish, but quickly finds that each wish he makes- even as it comes true in spectacular fashion- takes him further away from his ultimate goal of having straight-laced beauty CLAIRE KILROY fall in love with him.

"What would you wish for?"

LOTERÍA

For a grumpy group of RETIREES the predictable tedium of life at a Los Angeles retirement home is given a jolt of life - and mystery - when the new nurse, vivacious Latina ROMA, introduces them to Lotería, the Mexican game of chance. Not only do her riddle-style announcements of each card ("El Diabolito," "La Estrella," etc) closely match long-hidden secrets from their lives, but the winner of each day's game is visited by SOMEONE- or something- from their past that gives them each a final shot at redemption.

"As long as you're in the game you have a chance to win."

THE NARCOLEPTIC

DREW GREEN is a professional narcoleptic. Because of his unusually powerful condition, he's been the subject of numerous sleep studies since childhood, appeared on talk shows and at medical conferences and even had a book written about him by an infamous CELEBRITY PSYCHIATRIST. Sleepwalking through life, he'd never thought much about curing himself until he falls in love with ADELE, a beautiful young insomniac who desperately craves sleep and who triggers hypnagogic hallucinations in him that appear to be delivering clues about his own past and the mysterious origin of his narcolepsy.

"Love is a powerful wake-up call."

MR. SENSITIVE

It's time to satirize bromantic comedies... and torture porn, together. Delicately handsome and super-sensitive JOHNNY DARLINGTON was the kind of neighbor that the OLD LADIES in his building would have loved to set up with their NIECES and GRANDDAUGHTERS... if he wasn't always falling all over himself to be buddies with their nephews and grandsons. Once these DUDES get creeped out by his obsessive need to hang out, it's down to the basement they go... until fun-loving tomboyish jock KELLY FREDERICK moves in and throws a monkey wrench into Johnny's world: is she his new best friend, his first lover, his next victim... or all three?


"Don't hurt his feelings..."

BOOTLEG JACKSON

KAREEM JACKSON feels he hasn't met anyone's expectations- at 5'5" his senior year of high school his ability to play his very tall PARENTS' favorite sport of basketball has yet to materialize- and he looks unlikely to ever get off the bench as the third string QB of the football team. That all changes when he discovers a magical typewriter in the basement of the OWNER of his favorite comic book shop and writes stories about his heroic exploits on the football field that begin to come true... but with unexpected consequences that quickly spiral out of his control.

"He's making it up as he goes along!"

JELLYBEANS FOR DINNER

45 year-old PHILLIP ZABILLA always swore he'd never have any children, yet now he finds himself in a hospital waiting room expecting the birth of his first CHILD with a new GIRLFRIEND. As he waits he flashes back to the wild mood swings of his own childhood, raised by a collective of 60's RADICALS in a series of experimental utopian societies, always trying to shelter his younger sister REGINA from the lunacy around them, and ultimately losing her to the same excesses that claimed the minds of his loving but hopelessly misguided PARENTS.

"After the Summer of Love came the Fall."

BURY THE HATCHET

Years after nastily burning bridges with FRIENDS and FAMILY in the small Colorado town he left behind for success as a film & TV star in Hollywood, a newly chastened and financially devastated RICK JOSEPH invites a handful of the people he hurt the most to a weekend of reconciliation at his once-stately ski chalet in the Rockies. The wary guests are heartened to see a humble and gracious Rick welcome them, but the weekend takes a sharp downhill turn when gruesome "accidents" begin to occur and hidden cameras are discovered. Is this Rick's comeback special or a nightmare descent into booze, pills and vengeful murder?

"Good things come to those who hate."

THE THRIFT STORE

(Artwork by Phony Artist)

The hodgepodge STAFF at a massive downtown Thrift Store keeps things lively by flirting, pranking THE BOSS and otherwise amusing themselves during store hours, but when a series of mysterious donations that appear to be from the 1920s start coming in and their regular CUSTOMERS experience dramatic strokes of good fortune or horrible luck while wearing the old stuff, they reluctantly begin to believe that their Thrift Store is haunted... and frantically try to solve the mystery when the Boss disappears.

"You'll get more than you bargained for!"

THE PINCH HITTER

When tough but untested JOEY BRAGANTI joined a crew of Brooklyn mobsters he had no idea it would be so... boring; he spent more time in front of a computer than he did shaking people down. That all changes when his crew's top HITTER comes down with the flu the day he's supposed to rub out a top lieutenant of the rival HANRAHAN FAMILY; Joey, called off the bench to make his first kill and finally become a made man, discovers not only that his target is childhood best friend PETEY HEALY but that Petey is engaged to marry "the one who got away" CHRISTINA MUSTARD. Joey kidnaps the two instead and flees, bringing the wrath of both families down upon him.


"When destiny calls, sometimes you should let it ring through."

THE LOVE TESTER

GREGOR, a rogue perfumer who's broken away from HIS MENTOR, the head of the world's largest fragrance corporation, enlists the unwitting help of mousy computer scientist EMILY to create a scent that, when applied, can prove if someone is in love or not. Gregor, a self-professed enemy of love, has notions of selling the scent for millions to spouses around the world curious if their mate is still in love, while Emily and the Mentor fight to stop him after she tests herself and discovers that she is in love for the very first time.

"Prove it!"

SCAVENGER HUNT

When a group of entitled New Orleans PREP SCHOOL SENIORS compete in a lewd and crude Scavenger Hunt against their rowdy PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL counterparts in the Hurricane-ravaged ghost towns surrounding the city, they soon discover that a third team has entered the competition: displaced HUNTERS AND TRAPPERS who kill for sport.

"It's not a party until someone gets broken."

SECOND UNIT

After the PRIMARY FILM CREW of an indie feature leaves their locations in the Utah desert to return to L.A., the second unit (SECOND UNIT DIRECTOR and CINEMATOGRAPHER, plus BODY DOUBLES for the two leads) remains to shoot additional footage and inserts. The director's GIRLFRIEND, an aspiring editor, notices ghostly images in his footage, and soon everyone in the second unit feels a SUPERNATURAL PRESENCE closing in on them and forcing them and their cameras to take part in an unholy ritual of death... and rebirth.

They say a camera can steal your soul... what happens to it next?

THE TIEBREAKER

FRANKLIN FILLMORE and HECTOR CUETO have been the best of friends- and the fiercest of competitors- since childhood. Both former professional athletes, each man has accumulated the same amount of statistical records, championship rings, money, wives and children, and kept track of everything along the way... even down to who's won more at Scrabble head-to-head. When Hector is diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, the two decide to embark on one last, epic competition to break the tie: a race around the world.

"Talkin' smack around the world and back."

DISCO STRINGS

In 1974, gifted but painfully shy violinist ARTHUR CLEMENTI's dream of playing for the Buffalo (NY) Philharmonic appears dead due to his crippling stage fright, but a chance encounter with THE BEE GEES leads to him becoming an in-demand arranger for the newest musical craze- Disco. Arthur takes some awkward stabs at living the high life, but appears to be the only Disco musician in the world not having any fun until he falls in love with actress/singer FANTASIA, half of the infamously hedonistic husband and wife duo THE DISCO SWINGERS, as Disco's popularity reaches its crescendo... then begins to tumble.

"He had the Talent, he had the Dream... but did he have the Disco Balls?"

SINKING

JANE and "DOC" BUTLER's 25th Anniversary pleasure cruise with SIX LIFELONG FRIENDS goes horribly awry when their chartered yacht goes off course between Jamaica and Haiti and is boarded by ruthless COLUMBIAN PIRATES. The pirates loot the boat, kill THE CREW and JANE'S SISTER, destroy all communications equipment and leave the leaking, darkened boat listing in the middle of the ocean... where Jane Butler begins to piece together a theory that all of this was no accident and a KILLER may still be on board... as the ship takes on more and more water.

"There's not time to do much thinking, when the boat you're on is sinking..."

HIP-HOP POOL PARTY

The baddest MC in all of Corvalis, Oregon- 14-year-old JEREMIAH "THE RAINMAKAH" CARRUTHERS- convinces reclusive old-school DJ CRISPY to come down from the hills and drive him cross-country to crash the most exclusive hip-hop gathering of the year: LORD BIZZY'S "Hella Hamptons Pool Party." Lord Bizzy's notorious SEKURITY KREW won't be the only thing trying to prevent Jeremiah from making a starmaking performance- his PARENTS are in hot pursuit.

This summer, there's only one place to become a star."

and/or

"Old School.. New School.. it's ON at the Pool!"

THE GOOGLEBOTS

Newly-created search bot KIKI71 happily browses the web carrying out its indexing function until it stumbles upon the SPIDERS of a treacherous WEBMASTER who is quietly laying the groundwork to destroy the internet. KiKi71 enlists a motley crew of ANTS, DEEPBOTS, SPAM HARVESTERS and HUMAN USERS to fight back, all while trying to discover the identity of his creator... who may be the key to their salvation.

"Have you ever wondered what's really happening inside the internet?"

and/or

"Coming soon to a googolplex near you."

THE DONUT HOLES

12 year-old EDISON thought relocating from New Jersey to Berkeley so his CHEF MOM could open a new restaurant would be hard enough, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Edison and his circle of new friends- all SONS and DAUGHTERS of Berkeley professors- band together to find Edison's missing mom and the local CRACKPOT ASTROPHYSICIST after a reaction between her one-of-a-kind food and his unstable wormhole experiment seems to open tiny doors to new dimensions.

"Saving the world never tasted so good."

CANTALOUPE

Ten years after standing up bad boy JAMES on the night they were to elope together as teenagers, long since closed-off BECCA runs into him for the first time since then on the eve of her wedding to reformed bad boy PHILLIP and embarks on a roller-coaster night of soul-searching... with both men.

"What's the expiration date on the love that was forbidden fruit?"

Now Playing: 365 Original Feature Film Titles, Loglines and Taglines

Has a movie ever changed your life?

I can point to one that absolutely, positively, irrevocably altered the direction my life has taken.

In the spring of 1992, as my junior year at UNC-CH was winding down, I went to see the new Robert Altman film THE PLAYER at the Varsity Theater on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. I was already a big movie nut before seeing the film, but the majority of my knowledge about the movie industry came from SISKEL & EBERT, ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT and what I heard on the tram of the Universal Studios tour.

I'm not sure what it says about me that I felt a connection to the murderous sleazeball studio exec

THE PLAYER changed all that. I walked out of that movie wishing I could be Griffin Mill, the oily studio exec played so brilliantly by Tim Robbins. My mind reeled that someone's job was sitting at a desk, hearing writers pitch movie ideas and then saying "yea" or "nay." I loved the intrigue of the studio lot and the satiric look at the creative process that so often requires a deal with the devil.

That movie got me thinking about where I was going with my life and what my career path would be (the number one topic of most college juniors methinks). I had chosen my Poli Sci major because it was one of the top pre-law majors, but my feelings about law school had been steadily eroding for some time. I headed to Alaska the summer of '92 experiencing a real crisis of identity and generally feeling the fear.

Me, in Alaska, on the verge of an epiphany (and needing a shave + shower).

Long story short, you have a lot of time to think working the slime line of a salmon cannery, and my mind kept coming back to THE PLAYER. One day I had an epiphany of sorts at my campsite after a particularly long shift: no matter what you do you have to give working in Hollywood a shot. I graduated in '93 and by '95 I was living in Los Angeles and learning how to be a development guy as an intern Wendy Finerman Productions on the Columbia/TriStar (aka Sony) lot in Culver City.

As I was wondering what to do with this here blog, my thoughts came back once again to THE PLAYER, and one particularly funny and prescient scene. Larry Levy (played by Peter Gallagher) is the new hotshot exec at the studio where Griffin Mill works. Larry is bemoaning how expensive screenwriters are to the studio, and wonders aloud if maybe the execs in the room couldn't come up with ideas for features that are just as good....

LARRY LEVY
I'm just saying there's time and money to be saved...
if we came up with these stories on our own.

GRIFFIN MILL
Where are these stories coming from?

LARRY LEVY
Anywhere. It doesn't matter.
The newspaper.
Pick any story.

BONNIE
'Immigrants protest budget cuts
in literacy program.'

LARRY LEVY
Human spirit overcoming human adversity.
Sounds like Horatio Alger in the barrio.
Put Jimmy Smits in it and you've got
a sexy STAND AND DELIVER.

BONNIE
How about 'Mud slide kills hundreds
in slums of Chile'?

LARRY LEVY
That's good. Triumph over tragedy.
Sounds like a John Boorman picture.
Slap a happy ending on it,
the script will write itself.

BONNIE
'Further bond losses
push Dow down.'
(beat)
I see Connery as Bond.

(Thanks to script-o-rama.com for this excerpt, which I edited for clarity.)

This scene, in turn, reminded me of the many, many times I've heard my fellow wanna-be screenwriters worrying about protecting their script ideas from nefarious producers and studios. Always registering, trademarking and speaking in hushed tones about their precious ideas...

In my experience, ideas are cheap... it's the execution that's expensive. The days of the writer selling a feature pitch for millions without the accompanying polished, ultra-tight, already-written screenplay are all but gone, and besides, it's much cheaper for a producer or studio to option or buy a script than to "steal" an idea, develop and write it on their own and risk a lawsuit and bad publicity if the film is a success.

Unfortunately, the days of original screenplays (i.e. not reboots, reimaginings, sequels, adaptations, etc) being made into studio films also seem to be in danger (but I digress).

I am going to put my belief that it should be relatively easy for writers to come up with movie ideas to the test, and write a new one every day for the next twelve months, starting this Sunday March 1.

I am going to hone my abilities to write taglines on these film pitches because I think I would be great at it in "real life" and I want to put that belief to the test.

And finally, I am going to focus on what I believe is the extreme importance of a great title for a film that seeks commercial success. I read the following in the storylink.com "eZine" that I subscribe to a few days ago and I think it hit the nail right on the head:

A spec script must have a strong concept and poster that is "primal" and easy to tell - and a title that "says what it is"!

I am a firm believer in the necessity of a title that, in some essential way, "says what it is." Quick, what was the movie BODY OF LIES about? That film was referenced in an article I was reading and I couldn't for the life of me remember. I had to look it up- it was the Ridley Scott-Russell Crowe-Leonardo DiCaprio flop ($70 million budget, $39 million domestic gross) from just last year. I haven't seen the movie, so I can't make any judgment on whether it was good or not, but I can say that a generic title like BODY OF LIES, that could just as easily be the title of a legal thriller or a woman-in-jeopardy film, did it no help. No one will have trouble remembering what the hell SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE or THE SIXTH SENSE was about...

One final thought... if, by some chance, a producer or writer or actor or director reads one of my barebones movie pitches and happens to like it, I say "adapt away." As these pitches are my intellectual property, I fully expect a "Story By" credit and all the lucre that comes with it. That said, I fervently hope you take my pitch, spend a few months writing and polishing it and a year or two producing and marketing it, and make us lots and lots of money with it.

But wouldn't it be much simpler to hire ME to write it with you and/or for you?